Yes, am at it again! And, it is more likely that I do it again, and again and again…

Life has presented me such overwhelming experiences and with such an alarming recurrence that it beats my restraint. Humanity has elevated womanhood to an almost divine status, for she plays a mother. But, certain other characteristics mask this gift of nature and undermine their venerated status.

Here are some of the feminine traits that I have observed. Not that it is only restricted to feminine gender, but that it is more profound with females - they have these traits almost built into their DNA; their genes are only mutated, if they didn’t possess these traits.

Before that, let me clarify a few things. Not that I have pursued it with such academic interest, but my (sensitive) nose could not help but pick up some of the stinking smell. Did you say “You do not have a girl friend. Yeah, Grapes are sour!”? Actually, unlike that fox, I have never tried for the 'grapes', so far :-)

Conceit: Usually, females consider themselves somewhat superior beings – not just superior to males, but superior to some of the fellow females. More so when it comes to a relationship; they consider themselves as a ‘prize’ that has to be impressed upon and ‘won’! Haven’t you heard them say “Are you trying to impress me?”

With such deep-rooted narcissism in them, it is by no means a fair argument that the society at large has viewed women as objects of desire; for they seem to corroborate this notion, themselves, subconsciously.

It is here that their airs of (false) superiority is out for display. No wonder relationships are fragile. In fact, most relationships get nipped in budding stage – it is all over, even before you could be a potential friend.

Should you invite them for coffee their ‘weird-wired’ brain will decode the invitation as ‘is he asking me out?’ or something to that effect. What’s more disgusting is that they are not willing to come along even for the treat they demanded!!! Perhaps, it would demean their personality, if people were to notice her walking beside you. You are expected to play a faithful aide and provide service to the door step. “Your royal highness, your coffee is served”. My foot!! If you comply, you are reduced to a poodle (observe the marked shift in their behavior thereafter); and, if you don’t, you are dubbed insensitive and uncaring – a double-edged knife!

The world (read as the civilized world, not to ignore the despicable crimes against women) has been so very generous to women, beyond what they deserve – under the pretext of gentle behavior. To name a few instances where womanhood brings privilege – in case of an emergency, women and children are ushered to a safer place first; a man is supposed to kneel down and propose to a women; it is considered more inhumane, if a hijacker were to kill a woman - Does it make any difference? Is the knife or bullet any less penetrative on a man’s skin? Where is equality?

Haughtiness: Again, perhaps because of biological reasons, they posses remarkably sharp tongue. They do it with such ease that I am tempted to think that their tongue is probably a lump of involuntary muscle and that it would twist itself the way it liked, without much ‘interference’ from their brain. Or is it the way that they manifest their ego?

Probably, snubbing guys provides them with ample sadistic pleasure. “Do not go near that bike. I mean it!” (an oblique reference to the guy who owns the bike or who is standing near the bike), they warn their kids. “Mom, why are you so late? I was waiting to close the door”, she quips to her mom, who arrived late while she was left chatting with him (meaning, she was least interested in talking to him).

According to the book ‘Why Men Don’t Listen and Why Women Can’t Read Maps’ (my review of that book here), indirect speech is an innate attribute of women.

Actually, blame it on those hormones, females are ‘innocent’!! ;-)

Lack of Promptness: When it comes to some not-so-serious matters, they gleefully nod their head to do something, but when it comes to implementing it, they are far from realizing it. Worse yet even after reminding, they are blissfully ignorant. For heaven’s sake, why can’t they refuse it in the first place? Or is it that their indirect speech is coming into play when they accept it, which they actually meant not to? Or do they have poor memory?

Pretence: If you find it hard to define ’pretence’, just point towards a female nearby, and that should help you explain it – for they exemplify it.

Supposedly they belong to human race. And, one would expect that they would have their likes and dislikes? No matter how much they like someone, their sense of superiority complex holds them off; let alone acknowledge it, they would actually refute it.

Praise-loving: Females go high on praise, almost to inebriation, as if they are drugged. Not just that, they love it to no length (and depth), and expect it too! Poor guy, he must play a priest!

Lack of navigation skills: They severely lack some basic skills – like crossing the road, traffic sense, sense of direction etc. Almost 'N' number of times (where, 'N' -> infinity), I have applied brakes just to prevent from ramming into some damn female, who does not know how to cross the street. And, what drives me nuts is that they start giggling after this.

Shopaholic: Almost all women are shopaholics. The consumer industry and credit card houses would not be thriving, but for the shopping craze that women possess. No wonder they like rich and powerful.